So far

SO good. I am loving every minute of Christmas break. It's consisted of work, meeting new friends, dates, shopping, spending time with family & friends, quitting work, and more fun.

You'd think that I'd learn from my mistakes, yet somehow I am realizing I fall victim to them even when I don't realize it. I was once told there are 2 kinds of people in this world- those who see that the stove is hot and touch it anyway to see for themselves, and those who are told the stove is hot and don't have to experience it firsthand. Well, I used to be the latter. I can tell you that I have changed so much sometimes I surprise myself- I am now the former.

All this to say, life is good, it's just there's a boy who's been on my mind all day and I am hoping I will not live to regret messing this one up too.

Some things are beginning to make more sense. I had a great talk with my cousin tonight about her husband and how things were when they first met. No one's perfect. God is trying to teach me something. I just wish I knew what that something was.

My nose is newly pierced and I am in love with it. A much needed change.

My new home..

A clean house, a busy city, and family close by.. that's what I call home. I know everyone says moving back home is a huge adjustment, well thus far I can say with gusto, "Bring it on!".. I feel pretty confident right now. I'm ready to take on this obstacle and view it as more of a new opportunity. I probably wouldn't have said any of this on my last night in my apartment with tears streaming down my face. I mean it though.

My first few days at home have been very eventful. For starters, I went to a Christmas party on Saturday- had a blast and met a boy :-) This boy and I ended up hitting it off and have since gone on 2 dates. Only problem is, he doesn't love Jesus and he does love beer. I have been pondering this question for a while: Why do I keep meeting the same kind of guys? I wonder if God is trying to teach me something through this, If anything, I have found a new friend who makes me laugh, has shown me chivalry and is good conversation. Not to mention he drives a Jaguar.. ssshh ;-)

Back to work at Bath & Body Works... Already want to quit. Maybe I am too prideful but I have a hard time working manual labor for minimum wage, when I can make $40 an hour doing what I love.

Life is good and I am reminded everyday of how blessed I am. I am done with proficiency, Doc has agreed to wave my Major ensemble requirement, I have a new job at a Voice Studio, and I am going to New York in 9 days!

I feel like I'm growing up more everyday.

Miracles DO happen!!

For the first 3 years of my College career I struggled with worrying. I continued to pray about it and tried to reflect on the verse Matt 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.".... and after about 5 years I can say I feel recovered.

.... Except for right now. The stresses of graduation and my Senior Recital are eating at me and it's all I can think about. I am antsy, I'm biting my nails, my mind is racing... I HATE THIS FEELING.

It will all work out. I pray Doc says "sure Brianna, you can only do Choral Union, I will have mercy and be thankful for 4 years you worked hard for me".. HA! Maybe in a fantasy world. You can wish, right?

Instead let me rejoice in blessings... I PASSED PIANO PROFICIENCY! I recall walking into my Cottage about 2 years ago and proclaiming that the day I pass piano proficiency I was taking everyone out to dinner! Well, I passed. However, my funds are a bit low.. Rain check?

Tonight I had such a sweet time with my best friend, Antoinette. Dinner, coffee, listening to live music and Borders. Not to mention countless hours of laughter. I am blessed. That seems to be my anthem lately.

Someone told me today "There are no gray areas. It's either black or white". I need to continue reminding myself that.

End of the semester....

I've got a little bit of time to reflect... well actually I have none. I should be working on my extremely difficult Minorities in America final.. Oh well. I have so much on my mind.

First of all, I am blessed with amazing friends. Sitting at the table with all of them at PF Changs on Sunday, I just felt so blessed. No matter what big changes happen in our lives or how far away we move, we still have a strong bond and can still laugh for hours together. I hope it never changes.

I'm getting sappier lately, I guess because of all the changes going on in my life.

The concerts this weekend went well. My talk with Doc about leaving choir was actually pretty smooth.

However, I am hardcore stressing about my Senior Recital. I have it set for Feb 22, and the date just seems too close for comfort. I'm also planning on doing it in the Theatre and I don't know how smart that is acoustically. I just feel so much more comfortable on stage than anywhere else.

Aaahh!!! Nothing too profound to say, other than I have recently become addicted to the OneRepublic album. Sooo good.

Adventures!

I have been feeling very inspired lately. Change used to scare me, now it just makes me excited for new opportunities and a fresh new start! Things I plan to do when I move home....
- Join a Church
- Go to the Gym everyday
- Redecorate my room
- Buy a new TV
- Tanning Membership :-)
- Work at Bath & Body Works for the Christmas season
- Work at a Voice Studio in Encinitas
- Take a Science Lab & Dance class

A New York trip is planned for December 28th-January 1st. I cannot wait!!! New York during New Years with some of my favorite Theatre families!

Opportunities are rising all around me. That I am thankful for, however, I need to make sure I don't over commit myself.

ISP is also something I am still praying about.

God is opening my eyes wider every day. In Church on Sunday, the scripture Isaiah 43:18 was something the Pastor quoted... " Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past"

I force myself to ponder that several times a day. The right guy will come, and hopefully when he does,I will know it's right.

Faure...

Writes the most beautiful music... Right now I am memorizing a french piece called "Ici-bas" and the last line of the song says "I dream of couples who remain, who remain always together!" I love singing songs I can relate to. haha The other day I was singing another of my songs called "Meine Liebe ist grun" which is the exact opposite of the other song. This particular song is about a girl who is so in love. Betty (bless her heart) was telling me I need to act "in love" in this song and then I gave her my "Ok I gotta try real hard for this one" look and she understood. Break ups suck, but that's what acting is for :-)

For some reason the last few days I have felt so alive. So inspired. So ready for the future. I pride myself on being a go getter and seeking after the things I want. I am doing just that and it is a great feeling! Change isn't always scary.

aaannnddd I love James Marsden.... he's beautiful and his singing is comparable to Michael Buble....

Blessed.

For some reason, despite all the scary changes going on in my life right now... I feel so blessed. Had a late night dinner tonight with Antoinette and Janelle- 2 girls I have known since my freshman year. 2 of the first people I met at school, and yet our bond is still as strong as ever.

Progress is taking place everyday with my schedule for next semester.. In fact, I have an interview on Monday for a position as a Vocal/Acting teacher at a Studio in Encinitas which will pay well and give me a solid environment to teach my students at instead of driving to all of their houses.

I feel good.. I'm excited for this change in my life. I am also relieved in many ways. Although this is my own personal blog, I will still refrain from bashing.. haha

The rain outside is beautiful and I am blessed.

Tonight I will fall asleep smiling.